Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
