fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
