dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
