Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
