My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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