I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
