She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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