great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
