he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
