hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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