Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Two words: blizzard sex
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
