I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
