Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
