Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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