how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
People in love make me want to vomit
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
