i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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