My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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