I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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