I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
