It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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