They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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