well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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