handjob tips. give me some.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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