i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
