Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
