I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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