you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
