Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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