i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I look excited, but its just a facade.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
