she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
