You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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