I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
