from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
