my mouth tastes like poor choices
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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