belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
