True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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