My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
