no, he came in my armpit
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
