SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
