are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
