I cockslap morals
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
