We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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