I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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