Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
