I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
