its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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