Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if only i could text you this smell
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
