Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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