i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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