but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
